The start
Me: The idea of shadi is so scary! I wonder how other girls do it!
Ishaan (eating chocolate): Mmmmm. That's where clothes,
decorations and photographers come in I guess!
This
was when I was trying to convince everyone around me to delay the Shadi for as
long as possible. But once parents and Ishaan were on the same side, who could have stopped them! The engagement date was announced, Ishaan and I were both on very
hectic projects, I went shopping for the engagement dress in between, projects
got over, engagement day came, I was convinced that I don't look good, everyone
around me convinced me that I do, I entered the hall with all the lovely people
in my life in tow, saw mom and dad, started crying and kept crying till the
ring was on my finger and Ishaan looked at me with expectant eyes asking, "Do
you like the ring?"
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| I so know what this means! Engagement day was one of those days! |
The supposedly amazing part
It was post engagement that I realized how insightful Ishaan had been when he said, "That's where clothes, decorations and photographers come in!". Determined to not repeat the hopelessly-crying and I-don't-look-good-today episode of engagement, that I pinged every possible married senior of mine for shopping tips, woke up those snoozing Instagram and Pinterest accounts to stalk God only knows how many designers, blogs, make up artists, decorators, photographers etc. etc and needless to say, started maintaining a "Marriage excel" and a running to-do list on my iPhone. My mom started getting daily panic calls from me both on my way to and from work (sometimes during work, but she never attended those calls. I guess she wanted to limit the damages to 2 calls per day), friends started getting millions of "outfit" or "mandap" idea pictures on Whats app, Ishaan started getting hate calls for not being involved enough or not being excited enough or just for not being an actual punching bag!
Shahpur
Jat (or Shady Jat as per Ishaan), Chandini Chowk, South Ex became like those
dream destinations for me. After multiple trips to all these with everyone I
could possibly drag (parents and aunties, all the way from Bathinda :P, friends
and even Ishaan), I finally bought the two big pieces- my sangeet and wedding
dress. I remember the weekend I bought those (of course I do!). The next day, I
jumped around in my team room which at the point had only boys and announced to
them the holy achievement I had to my credit! Oh God!
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| Shadi Lehenga; Asiana Couture, Chandini Chowk, Delhi |
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| Sangeet lehenga: Gazal Gupta, Shahpur Jat, New Delhi |
The first thing I am actually thankful to my Shadi for
With
the big elephant behind my back, I started worrying about the other-than-me
aesthetics. For this I caught hold of my dad. His phone used to be always busy
when I called him (conveniently), so I used to route messages through mom and
brother checking if he has booked the palace,finalized decor, made arrangements for damage control in
case it rains in stupid mid jan!! Its easy to panic my mom and get
things done. With dad, not so much. But then dad gets really emotional about
stuff I want (though the lead time is quite long and the level of perseverance
too much), so I somehow managed ;)
Next
was sending out the "Save the dates". After "problem
solving" with an almost attentive Ishaan and my dear dear friend Myanka,
we finally settled for a classic, un-complicated look and a very sweet friend as photographer who traveled all the way from Jaipur for the shoot and another wonderful friend as the designer! So much for in-house!
I
always thought shopping for wedding would be the most amazing part, but the
"Save the date" shoot was the first of many events which taught me
otherwise. I was there with him in Lodhi gardens on a chilly morning,
comfortable in those whites and blues, flowers and cup cakes in hand, walking
and talking about life as it is. We laughed so much. He teased me, bugged me,
fed cup cake(s) to my nose while prancing around in his untrimmed hair (you can
actually see that in the picture). It was just so beautiful. And I thought shopping would be the most wonderful part!
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| Photograph: Suresh Singh Choudhary Design: Supriya Berry |
The second thing
As
days went by and trousseau shopping and arguments with mom about how heavy or
light I want my clothes to be continued, I went from being excited to being
drained out to being sad to being blah. Somewhere in between, Soumaya, my
former flatmate and existing sister planned this surprise bachelor-ette
for me. It was special. So special. To above and beyond. Especially when I got
to know how friends from before JEE, from IIM and Soumaya having not even met each
other got together on a Fb group to plan out the surprise for me!
And I thought shopping would be the most wonderful part!
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| This darling! She looks prettier than me but still I put up this picture. That's how much I love her :P |
The best thing
It
was December, my wedding and sangeet lehenga were ready, I had bought my
wedding necklace (from the patli galis in Chandini Chowk all thanks to my
baniya mom's love for wholesale prices), I had bid good bye to JNPT port
(phew!), I had had my "this is the end of an era" moment with
Soumaya, bid goodbye to my bachelor-ette home, prayed to all Gods in Mathura
and Vrindavan (thanks to my dad) and now I was home.
My
home. Where I grew up. Where I sometimes hated to be because parents would
scold me for getting up late or being lazy or whatever. The home I thought I
would be happy to get out of when I got a chance but the home I missed when I
actually got out. The home whose food I missed while sitting in those
college messes. The home with the mom and dad. My mom and dad. And my brother.
I was back to those days of just being a kid in my home. Its wonderful going to
the same old streets for shopping. Hectic but wonderful. The same old practice of going shopping
with mom, coming back home and giving the download to dad who continued to just
pretend to listen, yelling for someone to give the tired souls a glass of
water, then ending up getting it for yourself and for everyone else, eating
dinner parked in front of the television, going for a SLOW walk, coming back
and calling it a day. And then immersed in the Whats app and Fb messages, suddenly
hearing the familiar sound of parents talking to each other before bed, just
catching up, talking about life. And then realizing, this is what it is. Shadi.
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| Life line |
I
missed it. Being at home. Living at home. With parents. But I was able to
appreciate it only because I left it. And I am glad I did. Had I not, I would
not have known how my Shadi brought it all back to me. And this is another
thing I am thankful to my Shadi about.
15-20
days before the Shadi were crazy. Everyone fought with everyone. Mom and dad.
Mom and I. Dad and I. Bro and I. Ishaan and I. Ishaan and his dad. But then
came the relatives and the cousins and the lovely friends and it all settled.
Everything had been done. All the shopping, all the fittings. All we now had to
do was just dance and drink and get ready and tease each other and just be. We
prepared for the sangeet performances, I woke up at 2 AM in the night and wrote
(almost) poetic introductions for everyone I love for the sangeet, we played
poker, the cousins and friends flirted, hugged me, ignored me. They were all
there just for me. All my loved ones. The ones I didn't realize I had invested
so much in. The ones I didn't realize had invested so much in me. And we were all
there. And I was in a zone. A zone which had just me and my people.
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| I grew up with these guys! |
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| Anmol ratan |
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| Nani |
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| Childhood memories |
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| Tailor made |
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| Sister from another mother (Brother from another mother is so cool :/) |
Shadi was all about these natural moments. The
moment when I was running around not knowing who to answer first and my bhabhi
sat me down in a corner and fed me parathas because I hadn't had a bite in
hours. The moment when that little nephew of mine would sit on a chair like a
nawab and enjoy the girls and ladies preparing for sangeet, the moment when we
talked about how lanky I used to be and how I used to dress up in my cousins
shirt and shorts. How I used to start having a stomachache hours before that train. How I used to unsuccessfully try and control my tears before boarding that train. How I will I manage when the Vidai happens but how I will be able to do it because Ishaan will be by my side.
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| Natural happiness |
